Baby-shower

Last Saturday we attended our first Botswana Baby Shower. In January Kgakgamatso's (the woman who works in Hille's bar) second (& last) born will arrive. Lastborn because, like a lot of Batswana-women nowadays, Kgakgamatso thinks two is a crowd already, considering the cost of school-uniforms, food, shoes, and etc. Women like our neighbour Mma Binkie, who has had at least eight kids, are really getting scarce. Especially because a lot of dads disappear after conception.
The man who fathered Kgakgie's baby fled to Francistown (500 k's up north). By law men are required to pay a monthly allowance for their kids, but there's the usual gap between law and law-enforcement. The mothers to the fathers do tend to help out a bit, so the grandmother to the firstborn was powerfully present at the shower.


The set-up is like any Botswana-party: 'we supply food, music, company, and space, bring your own drinks and enjoy'. Special about the baby-shower are the cuddly invitations and the required gate-pass: 'any baby product'. Also special is 'the questioning' (of the mother), but we missed that part because Maud managed to hurt her back while doing the weekly washing, so we couldn't stay that long.


When the baby is about four months there'll be another party to show the kid to the world. The first three months mom & baby are supposed to be confined to a special hut in the (grand)mother's yard. That's another thing a lot of women don't want anymore. They might invite their mom over to take care of everything the first three months, but they stay at home. Some of the fathers who don't disappear are not that happy about this change of custom. Instead of loads of time to party with the boys they get three months of living together with their mother in law...


This revokes a memory. January 2006 a bunch of the boys, including us, were having beers & whiskeys at Bull & Bush (Maud is always allowed to join the boys). Not that our lot wanted to (yeah, sure), but we had to stand by our friend Motushi. Tushi was waiting for The Phone Call: you've got a healthy daughter/son. The father isn't allowed anywhere near the maternity ward, so you just have to sit in the bar with your friends...


Tushi's son Tom (l) en Edo (r) in our yard